I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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