i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
either way he was missing a nipple.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Shame - the story of my life.
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