come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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