We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
