i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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