All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
