Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
