My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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