the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
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You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
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I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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