im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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