Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
