Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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