She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
