Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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