I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
