kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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