Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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