oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
