So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize