I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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