dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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