I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
