Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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