He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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