there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
