i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I pour the whiskey from now on
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
