Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
