It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I know her cup size but not her name....
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