Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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