Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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