did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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