8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
