singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
