Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
