haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
