Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
