ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize