maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i was born a porn star she said
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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