Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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