dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
