So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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