guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
