I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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