haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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