There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
