big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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