I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
