its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
