sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i need some magic done to my vagina
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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