I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
