My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
