the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
