I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
