You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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