I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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