Christians are straight up FREAKS
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He felt like a one man threesome
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
