im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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