So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
